I'll bring you back to the stars.

HS returns to the forefront of the underground world, bringing with it the hardest of Driving Bass Lines.

It's already the half of 2007 and there's not much which I've promised myself that I would get done. If i recall correctly it was back when in 2003 that i kept assuring myself that 'these' thoughts/characters had to go knowing that if it continues residing in me i will certainly go no where.

True enough it has been that way ever since. How can people ever change over night? or even in given time. I just don't get it. Even by forcing myself I've found that I couldn't go further than the first step i took. Is it by nature that we can somehow morph into something better when choices have been deprived from us?

I've met with dead ends, I've sinked in holes deep enough to exhaust me from keeping my sanity, and I've been stagnant at square one so many times that I'm so disgusted with myself not being able to reside somewhere else.

Nevertheless I'm having the time of my life with the company who shares my fancy in the realm of escapade. It's been 5 challenging years... and i did gain wisdom. With saying that, probably it is myself who I'm constraining. I hate changes and it does comes with a horrific price.

It was until i walked into the space of familiar ambiance, where the scent of comfort has always eluded me that i felt calm and in control once again. The four surrounding scaly yet confiding walls i called my room. With every corner staring right at me, the sound whisper echoes in my head... "Everything's fine now.. there's no need for sadness and weakness in this plastic world of ours. Reality is always temporary and rest assured that it can be dissolved. Take my hand...follow me now... follow me to the city of the fallen.... follow me to paradise lost....and there I'll show you how beautiful life is through my eyes.."

I knew then that no matter how painful things were i would still be alright and that it can be but a passing phase or moment in which i seek an escape to be free.

This time we take on the big 'Z'
Fully controlled and limited, nevertheless promising.

So.. after going through some deep thoughts for sometime I’ve finally decided that I want to leave. It’s a really big step for me as I for one surprised myself that I even came up with that conclusion. The cost and the people who I’ll be leaving behind are the main factors that conjure up such difficulties in decision making. My whole life has always been here, stagnant yet interesting and enough. Thinking of what I’ll be missing when I’m finally eligible to go really sickens the hell out of me.

Having the occasional drink with some close ones, then come Friday where partying are limited till the 12am comes, Saturday of 5 hours work then the pursuing of Sunway mods, night falls and we do our usual ‘rehprehzentins’ and of course not forgetting my intimate time of passion with my car on Sunday. Pretty simple agendas eh? Nevertheless it’s really hard to forsake once I’ve already gotten so used to the routine.

I should have made this decision back in 2002 when I just wore my damn square hat, but I was just a kid then, graduated in IT and ready to take on the all exciting world of a 1 year holiday. It came up to 2 and half before I actually started my very first job doing auditing. Time and time again I’ve thought through the whys on what benefit I can get out of staying put in my home ground

•Finding jobs wouldn’t be much of a problem
•Percentage of friends are still stuck here
•Family
•Knowing my way around most of the main parts of town
•Comfortable

After careful thought, and with some, not much working experiences, I’ve realized that it’s harder for someone such as myself to be all that I could ever be here. Although I do have ample supports from people around me, but I just think it’s the struggle I have within. Believing in given time, and the sincerity of friendship I know somehow or rather I could maintain my smile once again.

That day have not come to past. I’m aware that it’s probably the restrictions and barriers which I can clearly see. Then again maybe it’s by choice that it’s there. Not too sure and I can’t be fucked tweaking my head on it any longer.

All I want now is an ice cream cart, where I can stroll it along the sands of time, where the breeze keeps blowing endlessly at my very complexion, where I can still laugh to myself that things are going to be alright although there aren’t many beach strollers, where I don’t need to have the privilege to go through the day with stresses and meetings, where I don’t have to keep an eye on the stock market, when there’s of no need to fill in the damn OT form… I can then say “Hey I’ve no regrets, you who are so blinded by the means of the corporate world, have you actually tasted life? I have and still am.



The soulful sounds of silence excites me

I understand now on how others can never be alone when they’re all by themselves. With everything surrounding me, I have everything I need to fancy myself silly.