I'll bring you back to the stars.

It came to no surprise that i've allowed myself to stop participating in the working world for the mean time. 3 weeks and i gave up. Talk about weakness residing in me. I wouldn't say i got nothing out of being responsible cause i know at the end of the day i've gained some useful skills which i may or may not need in the coming days.

Anyway i can't be fucked explaining why i quit over and over again so ya let's talk about something much more appealing like alcohol! It hit me only yesterday that i'm not actually drinking for the sake of savoring the taste of wonderful beer, instead i'm drinking for the sake of surviving. I never expected it to take a 180 degrees turn from pleasure to addiction.

I'm certainly not high on life, hence the severe amount of consumptions i not only crave but also need. Now the issue here is not about me wanting to take a slow turn on drinking but yet why the fuck am i passing out so often in the midst of indulging. It's like how u get yourself and tEh chick all worked up in bed and u cum shooting blanks all over the damn girl's chest. How embarrassing can that ever get?

It certainly shows how weak one can get by filtering all these memories you had recently. A dead ended situation for now i'm sure. Nevertheless i always allow myself to have as much fun as possible when i'm out succumbing to every command the yellow fluid pear-shaped jug lays before me. It keeps chanting in my head without fail "you having issues Ben? Well drink me bitch! you'll feel better!, bad day today at work eh Ben? well drink me bitch! you'll feel better!, bored Ben? Well drink me bitch! you'll feel better!, Feeling a little left out Ben? Well drink me bitch! you'll feel better!, Friends trying to make you drink more so that you'll get drunk? WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR U DICK! YOU KNOW U'LL NOT FALL SO EASILY! DRINK ME BITCH!". Next thing i know i'm passing out on the couch for an hour or so.

I dunno about other alcols, but it does keeps me satisfied in ways i've never dreamt of. The more i'm feeling shit after drinking the more i would wanna come back for more. The more i wanna try to avoid it, the more it feeds on my temptation. The more i detest it, the more it loves me. For now, i remain yours.



The very essence of life itself

What the fuck happened

The rumours are true! tEh nottifish has started indulging in the cursed world most would call work. To be frank, he never expected it to be this bad. An IT grad he is but yet he chose the auditing side of life. With regrets building up, he's getting to the edge of insanity.

But, the harder it is for him to adapt the more he would drive himself to get use to the environment. Although for the mean time darkness clouds his very vision and goal, yet he took an oath that he will never fall ever again to that place that he was trapped for a year and a half. A place filled with endless excitement and fun, a place where everything seemed possible and joyful, a place where tranquility is but an understatement, a place where evil existed not in darkness but in everything which was made pure and beautiful.

He trembles at the very start of each day, pondering on whether the hours would pass him by in a blink of a second. He walks in to the disturbing place where arts are crafted with a heavy heart. Not knowing if he would feel very much empty or alive throughout the duration there. When night falls he never fails to be amaze that he was actually better then he thought he would be. Each time he exits he would stand firm, with his head high and proud, declaring that he was not weak, never once. Especially not in a world where everyone are deceived by the very quote that runs in our blood...'survival of the fittest'.