Meant to post this entry up 3 days back but blogger was unfortunately being a bitch. It was Mak's birthday last Saturday. I would have just shot myself in the head that day knowing how it nearly slipped my mind that it was his anniversary. It shows how selfish I was by not being more aware on things which meant something to me. Thank god it came back to me.
Strange how in given time even the most important things we could fail to remember. How we would get all caught up in this endless cycle of life where diversions are inevitable. Nevertheless when we actually rekindle back, digging deep down within, and priving all which we have left with, the experience would still seem so fresh upfront. As though it didn't passed you by decades ago but just of recent.
I remember so clearly on how I met him and how the both of us got around sharing with one another as though time just stood still. I regretted not knowing him before he was infected with cancer as I already knew from the beginning my journey with him would never last as long as others would with me.
Things I leeched from him till this day I will never forget nor regret. For what I am today was mainly through his influence. He posts a really important role model for me to follow as I believe for a fact his ethics were nothing short of outstanding. It meant even more that he was never a perfect person from the start, that he was only human and he fell to temptation as often and easy as most of us would. He was just an ordinary individual like anyone you would find on the streets. He lied, he cheated, he betrayed, he hated, etc.
The thing which he shined most was how fixated he proposed himself to get to mend the mistakes he made. The extent he would allow himself to change the things he didn't find fit in his life. He was an optimist and couldn't care less on what the world would take him to be. A characteristic till this day I find difficult to follow.
He left me during my most difficult time of my life. Truly it was a miracle on how I managed to gather back my rationality and moved on. Respects were paid in full, regrets however were still within, anger was shown, religion was forsaken, believes were changed, questions were never answered, disfavored choices were made.... yet at the end of the day, when each time I would recall back when he was still walking here next to me, I have not a single frown on my face, instead it's replaced by a smile which I never thought possible.
How amazing it is on how huge and meaningful things we can learn from others, who we would assume, from first impression, could never offer any form of knowledge. I love the feeling of being thrown back by the words some could converse to me. This is why I would never fail to listen to others despite obvious reasons such as, being younger, being a druggy, or being detested by others. You'll never know what we could grasp by just listening to them.
