I'll bring you back to the stars.

Once again i'm back at where i started since i graduated, bumming without a care in the world. It has it's advantages, nevertheless more towards the slump side of the story. Although i'm very aware that time is not a luxury i can truly indulge in yet i can't stop thinking that i've actually learned alot though these short experiences.

Things which i thought i couldn't do i succeeded. Things which i thought i'm good at i failed miserably. Time may not have been utilised in full only because i don't think i'm up for the challenge. Call me weak, how true is that. I've tried endlessly to hide this flaw of mine from people but i guess it does show when experiences such as these surfaces.

Through time i've finally realised that i'm more of a dependant individual. I get scared when i do not have people to turn to. A curse which i've tried so hard to rectify yet it keeps haunting me within till this very day. It saddens me that i'm not like others who can actually persevere in things which may not neccesary mean the world to them but more of a responsibility kinda thing.

I'm shocked to see myself this way and i'm not proud of it.

p/s: I don't mean to make you feel blar, just that u're one of the only few people who i can truly reside in. And that makes being comfortable around you really important to me.

This is what you call hardcore

although i didn't know you very well...i admire your courage...your strength...your perseverence...and your determination among other things. i was planning to come visit you at the hospital sometime soon. i was speaking to ben and barrie about it just yesterday. but in some strange way i guess i was procrastinating cause i was afraid. afraid of how i'd feel...how i'd react...how i'd cope. i'm sorry...i truly am. i wish i handled things differently but it's too late now. i hope where ever you are now...you know that you're in my thoughts. you were a great friend to many and an amazing presence to everyone else. may you rest in peace.

p.s: darren...you're still in my thoughts...constantly. hot as hell...cold as ice :) i miss ya.....

p.p.s: mak...roti canai and chicken curry reminds me of you...miss ya :)