I'll bring you back to the stars.

Home was really sweet last night although there were some issues earlier in the night but obviously resolved after a while. Shared the set with Drive as we only managed to get pumping at 12am. To my surprise it was a really different feeling tweaking the console last night. Maybe cause it's our last night at Ruums, and probably also about the vibe that the crowd were giving while acknowledging the fact that it was our last there. I felt warm, cared and looked after when i looked straight, my back was filled with the people who made it happened and just by glancing at them i knew that i was taken care of closely each time when i'm called to the decks.

What better set for a last moment than an emo set eh? Filled with melodic trancy riffs that really set my mood blazing with emotions and appreciations. I really did enjoy my time there and by the looks of faces all around i'm sure everyone did as well. Kudos for those who shared every journey with us.

These days i can't help but feel the need of occupying my time with mindless chores just to keep myself a little on the sane side. Be it as complex as taking a stroll down the factory on working hours, or as simple as taking my car out for a bath. Home no longer feeds the sense of comfort in me as compared to last time i would always find sanctuary in the solitude of my own room.

It was certainly a difficult time for a fren last night where she had to endure bumping into a certain individual who is currently the main source of issue to her for the mean time. We talked bout it a couple of times already and yet solutions are still really subjective. I do get where's she coming from when she states that answers are really important. True, especially when there's no closure and that your mind is infested with troubling and disturbing thoughts on the whys, what ifs, who, etc.

Rock bottom is the only place where we belong for the mean time. We always have the tendencies to revel in the K Hole each time depression hits. No reason not to move your sorry ass off the chair though but yea it is true that it's not impossible to be done although the amount of effort required can be a real bitch. Tiredness surrounds us till we want nothing better than to just seclude ourselves a little and hope/pray for the magical miracle of deliverance to happen.

Sadly that's not how the world turns. Even if u've start moving on, there will be times where you'll break and fall flat on your face sobbing endlessly to the shit luck u're currently experiencing. Yup that's a 100% guarantee. Again you have to keep your head up high, bite your lip, start squirming a little and get back on your feet to follow through the entire process again. The only good thing that comes out of these actions is that it tends to get a tad easier each time.

Why are there people out there who are more blind than those who are really physically blind? People who preach that their luck isn't really on their side since forever, that the phobia they have can never be overshadowed with something good, and that although their lives are usually filled with shit experience, yet they'll repeat it over and over again while ignoring the fact that something better is right there infront of their very sight but just too afraid that it may be another too good to be true kinda thing.

I do have my own collection of phobias that till this very day have not been rectified yet. Not that i'm not giving it a chance to be amended, instead, chances weren't given to me. I long for logical answers but never once have i ever been able to obtain them. But then again, that's not the most important thing now izt? Choices, on the other hand are crucial.

I guess i've lost just about the limited amount of visitors i had on a daily basis since my hiatus. Think the laziness got the better of me AGAIN. Just can't really be bothered logging on to blogger updating and shit. When i do update is when random thoughts just keep pounding in my head and i want nothing better than to rant it out in words.

I had what you may call an experience a couple of weeks back. Bad.....nonetheless i can't stray from the fact that it was a really good one. I finally found something which, to my surprise, managed to offset the previous prize. It certainly has been that long of a time where i felt so natural, so cared, so me. When the least i expect it to topple me over, it happens straight up at my face. There were so much adrenaline rush pumping here and there that I couldnt even catch my breath for a second to stand firm and reminisce on things. Churning and churning over again till finally I was nearly thrown back at where i was 3 years ago. I could actually keep pursuing and make up every known excuse known to man just to keep myself in the hole of insanity. Not this time.... It was a decision best made to linger and stray off to the unknown. I'm done......



My World... Where darkness clouds the midst of insanity in complying to the hard driving bass lines.